Ordinarily when I sit down to write, I just begin my story with the most obvious first line and the rest sort of flows from right there. Tonight, for whatever reason, my thoughts swirl too erratically to likely make much sense. So I'll just begin with this: I wish (REALLY, REALLY WISH) that at least for a day, I could stop time. Yesterday began with an ordinary list of mundane chores and errands to be performed that would probably take the majority of the day. Knowing this and knowing that kids the ages mine are pretty much HATE to run errands, I decided to intersperse our to-do items with a few quick take-a-break kind of things. The particular one I'm remembering was lunch at Chick-Fil-A. I figured some food in the tummies and a few minutes of air conditioning may not exactly be "fun," but it was at least a break from the running and the hunger and the heat. I can't believe how that lunch changed my life in a matter of moments.
Upon entering, my son spotted his middle school principal, who was eating with his wife (who I've been getting to know better and hitting it off with very well) and their small daughters. We took the only table in the packed out place, which was right next to them, and chatted a bit before they left. As they stood to go, he reminded me that school starts in just three more weeks. "Cinder
ella" was playing on the restaurant stereo as the children were bounding outside to climb on the play structure when out of absolutely nowhere, IT hit me. All at once and without any kind of warning, I began to shed literal tears.
ella" was playing on the restaurant stereo as the children were bounding outside to climb on the play structure when out of absolutely nowhere, IT hit me. All at once and without any kind of warning, I began to shed literal tears. Despite the fact that I've basically been working a full time job with all of my kids at my feet and we have been experiencing a myriad of major life changes, it has been a really sweet summer. Primarily, I think this because my children have been so free from the stresses of school and a few other things that tended to bring them anxiety. While I have toiled my most probably since my college days, they have been blissfully submersed in friends, adventure and the swimming pool. And I love that. I love the innocence they experience in the summer time when there is virtually no pressure on them to perform or conform or otherwise measure up to any more than they naturally push themselves to do, which is quite a lot anyway.
My 11 year old son had spent the morning SO excited to have earned the funds to purchase a new Webkin for himself. And I so enjoyed the thrill in his eyes as he carefully chose which one should come home with him. This summer he has found a group of kids who don't notice or believe that he is "too old" for that sort of thing. And now here he was, climbing around the play fort with his brother and sister like it is the most natural thing in the world for an 11 year old to do. Likewise my daughter reminded me that despite other girls' preference for Hannah Montana and the Jonas Brothers, she still adores Strawberry Shortcake. And I wish that I could hide them away from the rest of the world so that no one ever convinces them otherwise. I love when they love being just who God made them. 
And so yes, I have been thinking a lot about homeschooling again. I love the school we have them in, and honestly, I feel so very blessed to have them there. And I KNOW that God has provided it because it is our best option for right now. The homeschooling door has not been opened and I've learned the hard way that I need to wait upon the Lord to do the opening. It's not for me to shove my foot in and pry it open, but my willingness has very much returned. Because right now the world just feels so very right. So very promising.
Either way, I've told all of this to the kids. I've reminded them they SHOULDN'T change their minds about who they are or what they like just because someone else may ignorantly try to convince them of it. And the truth is, it's not just school where they tend to hear such messages. Neighbors, church friends and even strangers at places we visit for fun have been culprits at times as well. The fact is that I DO want them to learn to make their own choices ESPECIALLY when they are pressured otherwise. So we've talked about it a lot. And I'm not too jaded to assume they CAN'T start a trend of leading kids to hang on to their childhoods as long as they can. May we as parents do all we can to make it carefree e
nough that they will want to. If I'm going to cry in public, I long for it to always be the happy kind of tears I shed while trying to nibble at my chicken sandwich.
After errands yesterday were complete and we were home at last from Boy Scouts, I watched my son at our kitchen table, licking around the base of an ice cream with concentration and a smile. For the slightest moment, I thought for some reason about the white cross just off the road with a girl's name and a date that we pass every single time we leave or come home. But the thought quickly vanished as I saw ice cream caking the corners of D.'s mouth and I wished hard that life could just freeze in that moment.
nough that they will want to. If I'm going to cry in public, I long for it to always be the happy kind of tears I shed while trying to nibble at my chicken sandwich.After errands yesterday were complete and we were home at last from Boy Scouts, I watched my son at our kitchen table, licking around the base of an ice cream with concentration and a smile. For the slightest moment, I thought for some reason about the white cross just off the road with a girl's name and a date that we pass every single time we leave or come home. But the thought quickly vanished as I saw ice cream caking the corners of D.'s mouth and I wished hard that life could just freeze in that moment.
