A Little Late, But Quite Sincere

A week ago Sunday was Grandparents' Day, but I missed it because I had it written down as this past Sunday. Then I missed it again because I've been sick. So my great parents and my lovely Grandmother never heard from me. My MIL and I had dinner for other reasons altogether, but I never mentioned it because I am, obviously, losing brain cells by the bunches. But we love them all four, dearly, and my hubby's handsome Grand dad, because they are quite simply some of the best human beings for us to have the privilege of sharing a legacy with, for a whole host of reasons:

For being willing to explain the details of a sport, even right in the middle of The Big Play.

For hosting "just because" parties for the grandchildren including real invitations by snail mail for them to receive.

For purposely being too slow to beat the train across the tracks, even though it makes you late to an appointment.

For hours on a ladder painting clouds upon their ceilings.

For learning new talents and skills and computer programs with them around, so they know that they're never too old to learn and grow. Or never too young to be a help. :0)

For spending time picking vegetables in the garden - or fishing or riding four wheelers or running errands, visiting family, shooting guns or making crafts - instead of always huddling in front of the television.

For having patience while they were still learning that "sharing" referred to bicycles and toys, but not to toothbrushes and drinks.

For biting your tongue while we as parents were learning the difference between defiant disobedience and simple childhood foolishness, and for when we mistook the latter for the former.

For telling them stories of their parents as kids and for making us sound like heroes.

For deferring to our preferences as their parents and letting us raise them our way. For respecting our choices on drinking and movies and world news and dress and Santa Clause.

For so many of our ways being the very way we were raised because they work and they are right.

For not allowing any disrespect with the excuse that they are "just kids."

For being equally interested in ALL their activities, as diverse and silly and new as they sometimes are.

For holiday traditions they look forward to for weeks.

For telling them "You can do it!" when you're not completely convinced yourself.

For remembering the time I crawled into bed with one of them after a particularly bad nightmare, but not the time I punished one of them for stalling bedtime, when they really had a case of pin worms. And for assuring me that even the cleanest home wouldn't have prevented them from getting it.

For pancake breakfasts and fun discussions about what they'll be when they grow up.

For reminders that they have many years until they HAVE TO grow up.

For sharing with them the "Good Ole' Days" without making their own days sound bad or scary by comparison.

For praying for our efforts in raising them!

For making a trip to your home seem inviting and familiar and adventurous and new - all at once.

For saving the housework until we leave.

For hanging their artwork on YOUR refrigerators.

For referring to your grandchild in heaven by name.

For admitting to feeding them ice cream every night before bed and setting that precedent for honesty. It was the more important lesson. :0)

For not buying them EVERY thing they want, just because you can.

For telling them "you look JUST LIKE your mommy at that age," and meaning it as a compliment.

For watching the same rated "G" show for the tenth time when you would really like to see "48 Hour Mysteries."

For trying to still lift and hold and swing them, even though it hurts a little more now that they're bigger.

For treating the boys like boys and the girls like girls - guilt and PC free!

For making the drive to see us more than we do to see you. It hasn't gone unnoticed - or unappreciated!

For being at so many Birthday parties, even though they are too busy with their friends to pay much attention. They cherish you there in the photos!

For being "Grandma" or "Grandpa" to their friends and cousins who don't see theirs'.

For letting them call home at midnight if they want to.

For meaning NO when you say "No." And for not saying it very often.

For imposing a bed time, but not necessarily a sleep time. For extra kisses and tickles and "boog-a-doo, boog-a-doos."

For introducing them to your own circles of wise and weird and accomplished and quirky friends.

For reminding them in speech and in deed that virtue and character and church and friendship and hard work and forgiveness and God ARE IMPORTANT!

For making God bigger than the four walls of our own home.

For being such top-notch examples of integrity and love. They only have 5 grandparents. But you all are enough to show them all they need to see.

More Observations Of A Wedding

Read previous post first for a good overview.

Names used are ones that are already public. Otherwise, I've used initials or titles to protect privacy

For my own memory, here are some of the more outstanding events from last night's wedding, for better - or for worse.

Three dozen butterflies being released at the moment the couple was introduced as Mr. and Mrs. - Beautiful. Stunning.

Every table at dinner had a framed piece of the couple's handwritten love notes to each other. THAT is the coolest idea I have EVER seen for a wedding! So sweet!

It didn't rain! After 20 straight days of rain and five over the previous record, how fitting that it stopped the very day of the outdoor ceremony!!!

My 5-Y-O practically dragging my 7-Y-O back down the aisle during the recessional! She was trying to do the slow graceful walk she had been asked to do during practice, while he was trying to rush back to the building to get some air conditioning! Everyone was cracking up as he pulled at his tie and everyone could tell exactly why he was rushing! He is so much his father's son.

My camera battery dying without warning (literally - the warning light never came on), then coming back on long enough for one more photo, of my three kiddos in their tuxes and dress, who instead of saying "Ewww" hugged lovingly in front of the cascading waterfall and vine-covered arch.

Nobody tripping on the cobblestone like had happened at least four times in rehearsal. Thank you God.

It took four full days of nothing else but wedding preparations for my three children to be in the wedding. Which means for my sister-in-law, the mother of the bride.......well.......like she said, the PARENTS deserve the hone*ymoon!

We added the pink Gerber daisy my daughter wore in her chignon to the bag of dried flowers her flower girl will throw at her wedding. The other flowers in the bag are ones my husband has given her for Valentine's Days and Birthdays - and the first day of school.

A little girl in attendance threw an absolute, all-out, throw-down-on-the-floor-and-scream temper tantrum because my younger niece would not let her hold the butterfly she and my daughter were holding. But the girl had already had it once before and practically dism*ember*ed the thing. (Probably why it wasn't flying away.) My niece and daughter were holding it for the photographer until he could get a picture of the bride and grooms' hands and wedding rings with the butterfly sitting on the rings. This little girl was the daughter of a business associate of the bride's parents and since everyone except for the bride and groom had already been excused from photos, she shouldn't have even been down there. She was SOMETHING ELSE!

As much as I occasionally enjoy dressing up to the nines and sitting at a formal dinner, my husband does not. I know he was bored out of his gord. But I was so proud of him. I never once saw him play on his cell phone! (This was my first formal dress since the p*rom! And ironically, it was the exact same color and similar style.)

Men should never ever be subjected to black tuxedo jackets....outside....in the Midwest in July. I was uncomfortable just looking at them.

My primary reason for being in the bridal room was to help my daughter (the flower girl) and my younger niece (the mini-bride) get ready. I am somewhere near the middle age-wise of my sister-in-law (the bride's mom) and her kids, who were also my husband's and my students in Youth Group at church when we were the co-leaders to the youth pastor and his wife, our best friends. Got all that? So in the past, I've had the privilege of having my nieces confide in me the things they might not otherwise tell a parent. But yesterday, as Lindsay's mom would sometimes be somewhere else busy with the staff, I felt that Lindsay was needing to talk to her Bridesmaids about all the things that are meant for Girlfriends alone. Things like the stress she was feeling from the last-minute details and anticipation of the honeym*oon night. But I'm just guessing. So I made sure to spend moments that I could outside the room with the two younger girls. She no longer views me so much as the friend as she does just like her own parents. And that's O.K. She's a grown woman now. With grown up young adult friends all her own. That's a big part of what marriage is. A new life with chosen friends and a circle of trusted confidantes you build together as your own new family.

A former youth group student of ours (7 years ago, when he was much, much smaller!) arrived at the wedding and seemed to not even know who I was. An hour later, though, he ran up to me with the biggest hug, picked me up off the ground, and exclaimed "Miss Nikki - one of my very favorites!" That made my night! Even if my appearance has changed so much he couldn't recognize me, at least when I was pointed out to him, he had good things to say. :)

While we prepared for three hours in the bridal room, the venue piped in 1930's and 40's style Jazz Love Tunes. One favorite of mine - "It Had To Be You."

Having an older niece is good preparation for having a daughter. I suspect it also just won't seem right seeing her in lacy pa*nties and an adhesive *bra either!

The DJ played "S*tript*ease Bur*lesq*ue" as Leo took the garter off of Lindsay - hilarious!

As Lindsay's little sister caught the bridal bouquet, her dad could be overheard yelling, "Huh-uh! Give me a few years to pay for this one first!"

When the couple walked back down the aisle for the first time as husband and wife, the song played was "Let's* Get It *On" by Marvin Gaye. Everything was done so tastefully that this actually came across very cute!

Judging will always be one of people's favorite pastimes. Lindsay and Leo sought premarital counseling from the same sweet Christian woman who was already counseling Leo's family through his mother's impending death from cancer. When they found out this woman was also a U.S. Justice, they asked her to perform the ceremony because of the relationships that have been developed, not because they've lost their Baptist beliefs. But it's funny how many people will automatically condemn what they do not even know.

Leo's mother looked stunning! No one ever said, "she looks so good for having cancer." She just plain looked good! My sister-in-law also looked the prettiest I have ever seen her!

One of my favorite things about weddings is that it expands families. Leo and his older sister Lacey are getting extraordinarily close to Lindsay's family, with their mother's blessing, because she will soon be gone. Their father has not been around since the two of them were little and there is no extended family. So they will have each other, and us. (The entire small town where they grew up is like family to them as well. They are extremely graceful, well-rounded people.) And it's just neat how the parents are nurturing it all. Leo's sister and myself, Lindsay's aunt by marriage, are really hitting it off well!

It is awesome to be in the wedding party of a girl who works as a hairdresser in a Spa, with plenty of hairdressers as bridesmaids. I've never seen so much good hair at a wedding!

I didn't think I'd hit the dance floor. But when the DJ plays "The Twist" and "Shout (Lift Your Hands Up)," and your five-year-old is getting his groove on, it's just too fun to pass up!

My (seven-year-old) niece garnered a circle of onlookers and chanting of her name in unison when she started break dancing in a mini-bride dress to "Disco Inferno."

The venue was an old orphanage (in an 80+ year old building) restored now for weddings and receptions. It was so beautiful, both architecturally (which I love) and in history. You could look all around and be glad that someone once thought enough of the children there to give them a beautiful place with lots of big windows and outdoor play areas. My kids had a BLAST exploring with all of the other child guests.

Personalized water bottles and hand fans are the PERFECT party favors for guests of a hot July wedding!

Thank goodness for dark lighting when you have a MAJOR breakout the day before a swanky soiree.

I unintentionally caused my niece (the bride) to begin weeping all over again when I beamed "Well, Miss C., in fifteen more minutes, you will be Mrs. M!" Obviously, her emotions were on a huge roller coaster ride.

Bridesmaids leave things. Lots and lots of things. One of Lindsay's friends and I returned to the bridal room after the reception to collect a trunk load of items belonging to many of the girls who had already left.

Chicken smothered in wild mushroom milk sauce and my daughter's French silk flower girl dress had exactly the relationship I had hoped they wouldn't. But it is just "so her" that I couldn't help but to just shrug and smile. I hope it comes out!

Lindsay's sister three years her junior was the Maid Of Honor and is a wonderful public speaker. During her toast, T. told a story about how she and Lindsay would be trying to fall asleep in their dark room as kids. Lindsay, the older sister, would get scared and beg T. to sleep with her in her b*ed. T. told how now that Lindsay getting married, she would miss being the one to keep her sister safe at night. (And everyone "awwwed" and cried.) Then she said, "but if anyone else is going to take that responsibility from me, I'm so glad it is Leo. He's an awesome brother-in-law and I know he'll be the best husband to Lindsay. And, maybe someday, he'll be required to make some business trips and I can go over and take HIS place again while he is gone. Besides, everyone needs a break sometimes!" And as quickly as we all had shed tears we were roaring with laughter. (This only egged her on.) "Especially from Lindsay." Her comment was unplanned. T. is just really good with impromptu speaking. Leo's best man, whom I don't know, also expressed heartfelt words of admiration for Leo. He said that of all their buddies, he had probably had the most hard knocks in life, but it had made him the strong man the rest of them looked up to.

Leo looks like a perfect mix of James Dean and the guy who played "Dylan" on Beverly Hills 90210.

Young boys are disappointed by limousines at weddings. They would MUCH RATHER put shaving cream and tin cans on an old beater!

I REALLY WISH I didn't have to return tuxedos today! Or that my hubby didn't have to go to work since it's not raining today, but it's fore casted all next week! Ugh! We were up much too late.

Even guys can admit that a couple hundred laser wands and crickets chirping in the summer darkness during the send off of a couple who is "Just Married" is very romantic!

As wonderful as the evening was, I CAN WAIT until it's my daughter. About thirty years, in fact!!!

Love is a special and weddings are fun!