Our Pre-K Crass-anova

A CONVERSATION LAST NIGHT IN OUR LIVING ROOM

My 5-Year-Old: "Oh, my goodness, did you hear that, Dad, that guy said 'She's Hot.' She is NOT hot!"

My Hubby: "That guy just meant that she wasn't cool. I mean comfortable. He was explaining why she was fanning herself!"

5-Y-O (slyly): "I know, but I know what the other kind of hot means."

Hubby: "How do you know THAT?!"

5-Y-O: "Because I just know what it means."

Hubby: "What does it mean?"

5-Y-O (giggling): "It means cute."

Hubby: "Well, that's true."

5-Y-O: "I know because I've heard you say Mom is hot..... But she's not."

Me: "What?"

5-Y-O: "Moms are not hot."

SILENCE

Hubby: "Moms can be hot."

Me: (to hubby): ONLY the Mom you are married to can be hot!"

5-Y-O: "No. Moms are not hot because they have kids."

Me: (to 5-Y-O, wondering how we raised such a chauvinist): "So if you have kids, you can't be cute anymore?!"

5-Y-O: "Yeah."

Hubby: "Why?"

5-Y-O (to hubby): "Because if a lady has kids, she is already married so she can not marry anybody else. And I shouldn't like a girl if she's already married. That's why Mom is not hot. Because she is already YOUR wife. So she can't be cute to ME because I have to marry somebody else."

Hubby: "OH! So you mean she can be hot to me, but not to you!"

5-Y-O: "Yeah. Of course. I can't marry her. She's my mom. But for you she's cute."

Me: "Yeah, to Daddy I better be hot. I better be the only hot Mama he knows!"

5-Y-O Giggles.