A Chance To Be A Blessing and Clearing Up A Misunderstanding

I do not have e-mail or the ability to retrieve a code for the pretty button, but please know that Boomama is hosting a fundraiser today for Heather at Especially Heather to pay for expenses for a trip to the Mayo clinic for consultation on a newly discovered brain tumor. This dear lady is an absolutely amazing GEM of a human being with a lot on her plate even before the diagnoses. I have donated through Boomama before and she does everything with full integrity. If God has blessed you with good health and a few extra dollars, please consider helping out this dear Sister. You do not have to have a blog to participate and any amount is appreciated.

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After a comment made IRL yesterday in response to my last post, I felt the need to better explain certain details. I originally omitted these details in an effort to shorten an already very long post, but I do want to explain.

This person implied that perhaps I was taking too many liberties in referring to the lake property as "ours." (And this was not someone in our family; in fact, it is someone with which I am only a casual acquaintance.) But I realized if one person had that thought, then others might as well.

Let me assure you that even as I wrote yesterday's post, I questioned whether this very misunderstanding might occur. But to include all I wanted about the story, I had to choose to write more than was likely to hold interest in the story (so that someone might be distracted from reading all the way down and miss all the details anyway) or to assume that by the very nature that my MIL introduced her property to us IN DIRECT RESPONSE to our desire for such a property, people could assume not only that we have her blessing, but that SHE indeed instigated this whole process. Using the term "ours" was simply shorter than explaining each time what was a monetary reference and what was a family project reference. Because that is foremost what this has been to us - all of us - a fun family adventure.

Let me explain that when I claim to have a wonderful MIL, those are not just words spoken for brownie points. And she knows that. She knows my heart and my gratitude for the person that she is. I entered my husband's family at an extremely personal time for them and that lent to an opportunity for right definitions in our relationships that not all families necessarily work out so easily. She has never treated me as anyone other than the wife of her son. She has never made me feel the pressure that being treated equal to her blood born daughter would bring, nor has she treated me like I am merely an appendage to an already established family. She treats me as an individual added to bring a new unique aspect to a great group of people. And I love her for it.

That said, what I wrote yesterday, I would have no problem having my MIL read. I do not walk on eggshells with her. If I say something stupid, she just assumes I had a momentary lapse in judgement as she admits to her own at times. (Yes, I DO KNOW how blessed I am.) She knows that when Greg and I speak in terms of "ours", that our focus is on the use and responsibility aspects of this venture, and not the financial. My husband and I have always been of the assumption that we are owed nothing from our parents. We are grateful when they choose to share with us. Whether it's property, advice, or babysitting. None of this needed to be explained within our own family. These sorts of issues have long gone back and forth between us - helping one another financially and otherwise in both directions. And though it's not really the business of anyone outside of our family, I will explain that those more mundane issues were already being loosely discussed. My MIL knew our family (my hubby and I) would likely use such a piece of property the most (assuming our uncle didn't also have other plans for the property if he indeed does own half), but we would also do the most maintenance and improvement on it because we have the equipment available to us to potentially add value to the property. Because of further details we have discovered but not yet been able to put into context (until our actual visit to view the property), it probably isn't worth a whole lot monetarily. My MIL WANTS this to be first and foremost a place for family gatherings (perhaps including her BIL's family), if it even pans out that way. We want to do the improvements for her (and potentially for our uncle - see how irritating and difficult this makes the reading?) that would make it worth more, whether or not we choose to make use of it. No one in our family questions that the property belongs to my MIL (and perhaps her BIL). I spoke in terms of "our" (reluctantly, at that) because she had ASKED me to do the research on it. So by saying "our," I was refering to my part in the "project" she had given me. She already has a full plate of responsibilites and I actually enjoy that sort of research. And our whole extended family's emphasis is on it being OURS in the sense of sharing it in order to share in each other.

I also might mention that my ending line of the afore mentioned post was purely intended for humor. I would NEVER go through my MIL's (or even MY OWN parents') stuff! It was intended purely as a humorous wrap-up to neatly end the story. (And to gently tease my MIL in her ongoing pattern of forgetting about key land ownership. : 0) ) File this one under "Obviously, Not As Funny As I Thought."

One last point: I don't believe there is any sort of dwelling on the property. I tried to read where I might have unintentionally implied such, but I'm pretty sure the property is just land. However, a BLOGCK party with tents sounds like lots of fun! Sorry if I confused anyone.

I originally wrestled with whether to post about this at all while details were still so sketchy for this very reason - that the lack of detail might prompt someone to make false assumptions. But I think most people did understand it for what it was - an adventure too fun not to blurt about! And I thought by posting as we went through the process, anyone reading could sort of participate in our little adventure right along with us. To my MIL, my SIL and BIL and to us, this has never been such a serious issue. Two weeks ago, we weren't even aware of this property. We lived without it before, so we wouldn't' miss a thing by not having it now if it doesn't work out. Our focus is entirely on the fun we are having together because of it. We are thankful to God for giving us this unique reason to spend more time together.

Now, back to the really important stuff.....if you can, please go bless Heather! Make a donation