A Child's Guide To Product Endorsement

As someone who once spent her time publicizing events for radio and television networks, I now try to pass some of that knowledge on to my kids. I tell them how a lot of companies employ someone whose job it is to make that company look good and that is what I used to do. But I also tell them I only worked for people whose companies I really believed in and that some people try to make companies look good when they really are not.

Like INSURANCE. My apologies to anyone who works for an insurance company. It's just that, so far, my husband and I haven't found the particular one that isn't a big black sucking hole of injustice. If yours is different, by all means, PLEASE let me know about it. But only if it IS good. Don't just try to make it look that way. I can spot those tricks, remember?

So anyhoo, I am forever teaching the kids to spot the TACTICS. They crack me up walking through the grocery store, declaring loudly to one another, "Just because the picture on the (cereal) box is of "Superman," Justice, doesn't mean you're gonna get him. It might just be that weird blob guy inside." Or "I know it SAYS if you buy it, you'll get a jump rope with it free, Faith, but not until you buy two more boxes first and then send in the bar codes and wait 4-6 weeks. Plus it will be at least two more weeks before we buy the next box, so you're gonna be waiting all summer. Wouldn't you rather just earn a dollar cleaning the car and take it to the dollar store for a jump rope?" Oh, yeah, Baby - I've got them speaking SAVVY, I tell you. But perhaps I may have also inundated them with a few too many phrases? Take for example this conversation at breakfast this morning (based on this bucket of raisins):

Dalton: Hey, Faith, isn't that the Chiquita banana lady you're supposed to bring the outfit for Ms. P. to dress up in for your banquet tonight?

Faith: Noooooo. (Silly boy!) That's.....well, I don't think she has a name. But she's the national fan of raisins!

Like NASCAR......but for fruit?

They make me laugh like a senior on Cyalis who is now free from frequent urination. Or whatever that stuff does.