Summer Camp

I guess I sort of expected it to be easier to blog in the summer once things have slowed down a bit, but the trouble is, they haven't! In the "relaxation, spend-time-together-and-not-have-as-rigid-of-a-schedule" kind of way they have, but in the sit-down-at-the-computer-and-have-a-specific-time-to-type-each-evening kind of way, not so much.

My oldest son just returned from a week of camp. Welcoming him home yesterday was an all-day event. It was so nice to have him home. It was the first time he has gone anywhere more than overnight without being with SOMEONE in our family. But I felt remarkably calm about it the entire time. First, because he was in the capable hands of our church counselors, the main one of which is one of my best friends. But also because I trust him. This past year he has really started to show the kind of responsibility that makes me feel O.K. about letting him try the new ventures that approaching teenager-dom brings. He has always been a "good" kid, basically obedient to his father and me, but now we are beginning to test his responses when we are not right there to guide him and this week, he has made us proud. He took first place in the instrumental solo division for his age group, which made me so happy because he has only been playing since Christmas, but we are always stressing to our kids the extreme importance of PRACTICE to be successful at any thing. He has done that. And it paid off.

But more so, I was proud of him and my friend's daughter for including their friend in their puppet skit. The friend is mentally handicapped and can not read well, so every time his turn came (an equal part to theirs), the flow of the scene was interrupted. This is a team who without this boy took first place last year, but chose this year to include their friend, even with some other kids tempting them "you won't win with him in it." But they chose their friend and his feelings over an un-guarenteed win or temporary recognition, and without the prompting of her mother or me. I loved watching them practice together. Just three friends having fun and doing their best. I'm glad they weren't given any special consideration. I'm convinced that with more time to practice together, they are going to do even better next year.

I have been surprised at so much this year about my reactions to this changing phase in my son's life. This phase where as a parent, you slow the teaching and lecturing and let them go ahead and fail and make mistakes so they can learn in real time the consequences, good and bad, of certain actions. I thought I would be a basket case having him gone all week. And I thought I would kind of hope he would be a bit of basket case without me too. But it's nice, watching this child you've put so much effort into parenting, becoming their own person. It's nice to get a front row seat to who they are going to be in this world, different AND the same as ourselves. And yes, of course it's nice to get to know they will eventually miss you just as much as you miss them. For both of us that happened on Thursday, the night before they returned home. All week, when I had spoke to him, Dalton was eager to hurry the conversation and get back to being a part of whatever antics were taking place inside his cabin. And I was too thrilled for all the fun he was having to wish any feelings of home sickness upon him. But Thursday evening, the conversation lingered until we had talked out everything about what Dalton had done that day, what they served in chow hall, why there were no pranks allowed this year and random details of bugs in suitcases, somebody getting in trouble for something, or something that had struck him in a preaching message. Then after a few seconds of silence between us while I overheard him laughing at a friend's cell phone tone in the background, I offered "well, I guess we don't have anything left to say" he said to me "that's O.K. We can just sit here." SIGH. That's quite a Valentine from a boy to his mama - and he doesn't even know it. :)

Sorry for the confusion on the last post. The birthday greetings were for my good friend's husband and daughter. They celebrate on the same day and have recently moved away, so I was missing being there to watch them open presents and eat cake together. :(