Thank you very sincerely for all of your kind words of encouragement, especially to those who simply offered prayer and the belief that there is more to this situation than I am able to explain. I was feeling very hopeless last night when my husband said there isn't a problem so there is nothing to work on. Pain I can deal with but the indifference darn near killed me. I should have turned again to Jesus alone, but in my frustration and my fatigue, I allowed myself to seek a human ear instead. It was the first time I've allowed myself to be mad at God so I didn't go to him. With a little rest and time to reflect (and scores of "coincidental" programs God has allowed me hear today as I work), I can realize that DH probably only said what he did out of the same frustration and fatigue. Thank you for the book suggestions. I have read so many of these kinds of books (especially Scripture!!!) but I am willing to try again with the ones you have mentioned. I just wanted to clarify that I did not mean I do not want to submit to my husband. Just that his suggestion was (in anger, of course) to get over wanting to be together and that there is no way to submit to that when you've committed to love and cherish someone. The two things are at odds. Thank you God for rest, even if it's just a little. And thank you for friends, even if you don't really "know" them.
About Me
- Mayhem And Miracles
- I'm a Born Again Miracle, ever full of questions and determination to make the best of the second chances God has given me. "Greg" is my handsome business-owner husband. He loves the OU Sooners, grilling, golf and guns. I have 3 joyful children, each uniquely different and teaching me something new every day. "Dalton" (age 12) is smart and responsible. He enjoys Scouting, art and statistics and wants to become a pilot. "Faith"(age 9) is nicknamed "Lollipop" because she is sweet on a stick. She loves stuffed animals, tennis, dancing and daydreaming. We love her ornery streak. "Justice" (age 7) is my easy-going jock. He's wickedly funny and ambidextrous! And me? I'm a (overly) reformed control freak and enjoy my family, traveling, bargain-hunting, photography, politics, cute clothes and Jesus. I consider this blog a place to store memories as my brain ages - and a collection of life's lessons for my children. It is my earnest yearning that each generation of my family after me will follow harder and closer after Jesus than the one before them. I consider myself a King David for my family, called not to build the temple with my own hands, but to build up those who eventually will.
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10 comments:
Still praying, sweetie! I love you!
I'm so sorry you're struggling with this part of your marriage...praying you can find peace and compromise and the time you need to just be together!
I just found your blog and want you to know I'm praying for you in your heartache. Oh, how many times I've wanted God to "magically" make me feel better and sometimes I pray and cry out to Him for so long, it is shocking that the problem could still exist. I loved The Chronicles of Narnia when I was a kid. (Still do) One night at bedtime I asked my dad what God would think about me praying to get into Narnia even though the practical side of me knew Narnia was just make-believe. He said (and I'll never forget it) God wants to hear everything we think and feel, even if it's silly, even if we think it's wrong or impossible or selfish or whatever. So I pray for things even if they seem impossible, just like you're doing. Maybe I'll get into Narnia someday, but I know your relationship with your husband will heal, whether on earth or in heaven. God Bless You and I'm praying.
I'm still praying for you!!
Oh bless your heart. I am just now catching up with your blog...oh my heart hurts for you. I will pray for you and your marriage. Thanks for sharing your heart here...you are precious.
Sunshine
You can know that you are being prayed for - even by those of us you don't "know"! I'm sorry you are experiencing this pain. It is right and good for you to desire closeness in your marraige. That is how it is intended to be. Just take baby steps right now - don't put too much pressure on your husband to be what he is not. I'm not sure if the Power of a Praying Wife has been recommended to you but it is an amazing approach to "changing your husband". And also remember - there is no perfection this side of heaven. We get great little gifts of blessing along the journey but nothing here is perfect. I will be praying for you - hang on!
Hey girl, hang in there and remember that God loves you and has great plans for you and your family.
I did tag you on my meme. It's silly but fun.
You take care and be reminded that JESUS LOVES YOU!
Hope that something just stands out as blessing you even more than usual today. A mid-summer bloom in a garden. An evening walk. The laughter of children on the block. A surprise call from a dear friend. A whisper from the Father.
Blessings,
~Toni~
Oh, bless us one and all. I could have written these last two posts. In fact, it's ironic that I tried to check your blog last night and couldn't pull up anything!
First, yes I will pray. And might I ask that you pray for me too?
I am finding that in times when my husband's family of origin stress and his work stress are way less ~~ he is much more in tune with our marriage. In the throes of that stress, that doesn't make a bit of difference to me. When I'm away from it, I see it for myself.
I too...really haven't been able to share w/my pastor or even close friends...b/cause it's a little too personal and it would share some things that my husband doesn't want shared. So I understand that train of thought perfectly! And He knows what the prayers offered up are about.
I have recently started to reflect on several things and thought I might share.
Most ladies that have been married for 30+ years will share that they too have times of much heartache. Times that their husbands just did not seem to listen, care, or even try! I've really started to understand that the marriages that do indeed last all have a story. Even the "perfect" couples...have stories. They weathered them.
Also, I read recently on Beth Moore's blog that even she had times of wanting her husband to stand more in his role...and that more results were seen when she prayed, stayed out of the way, and let the Lord tend to him. This is so hard for me..I'm a talker. I'm a fixer. Let's just do something to make this better. And most men aren't that way. And even when I want my husband to be different and learn some new marriage tools...I'm learning that he is the man I married. He is a good man. He is a good provider. He is a good father. I married him for those traits...and in that, I didn't get a great communicator. But God can...and will fix it. It doesn't stay fixed, I'll admit.
We've had setbacks...and occasionally worsebacks. But I've stayed. I heard Kathie Lee Gifford on a special state after learning of Frank's affair...that in the end, he was the father of her children. AND even if they divorced, she would love him. While my situation isn't an affair, I do think that if I did leave...I would still love him. He is the father of my child.
My aunt has told me about a book, Change Me Lord. I"m trying to read up on what I have, and I'm delving into that next. I can't change hubs...I can only change me. I'm asking that I learn how to view life thru His eyes...and asking for Him to allow me to see things thru hubs eyes...for better clarity.
I hope I haven't shared too much. I just wanted you to know that you touched me and actually, blessed me in your desire for prayer.
In our weakness, He is made strong!
I just read my post...and want to make certain that I clarify...
I believe God can heal my marriage. And it stay "healed." It is our human-ness...sinful nature...that makes it backtrack.
(I fret over posting b/cause I do much better w/the spoken word than trying to convey my thoughts consisely! I over-analyze a little! )
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