The only way to sufficiently explain the way my daughter has touched my heart tonight is to admit that I lost it. I mean I totally, utterly and completely lost it this morning when she threw her temper tantrum. It's not what I said to her that I regret. That was pretty much what it needed to be. But I yelled it in such anger that it escaped my throat almost as a growl - a loud, angry, overbearing growl. And it devastated me for much of the day as I worried about how devastating it must have been to her. In getting through the proper spoken message, I really screwed up the subconscious one, and it hurt.
Then just now, I went in to crawl into bed and found four beautifully sprawling sunflowers and a note: "I love you Mommy."
She certainly is not perfect, but she has the forgiveness thing down pat.
And I would die for her.
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Tenderness And Deep Deep Love
Labels:
Blessings,
Heart and Home,
Testing and Trials
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5 comments:
We have all fallen short as parents at one time or another. I don't think she would have forgiven you so easily had it not been a rare occurence. You are such a fun, and giving mom. She knows you love her, and she obviously loves you a lot.
Susie said it just right!
This made me cry too. I have also yelled at the kids in anger and deeply regret it, but my prayer (that I know God is faithful to answer) is that the love would be what they remember and internalize. You love her so much and from her note, she obviously knows that first and foremost and feels the same way.
Ohhhh, tears. What a precious heart.
This made me cry; not only because her note was so very beautiful and tender, but also because I've been there, standing in your shoes. It hurts to see myself in this post. I imagine more moms might "be here" than we realize. We're flawed and we fail. Yet we love our children with all our hearts and can admit it to them when we fail. And then, praise God for His mercy and grace.
Blessings,
~Toni~
p.s. and now I'm seeing God's humor as He reminds me that NICE MATTERS. And that's the award I have waiting for you over at my blog. ;)
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