A Hodge Podge Of Humor

One thing I love so much about blogging is having a regular way to record all of those precious little "funnies" that otherwise go unrecorded. Oh, I have scraps of paper with the most outstanding events I never want to forget - SOMEWHERE. But years from now, I really wish I could go back and visit my kids' little years in some sort of detail, like one of my favorite blogs, Lots of Scotts. She relays the cutest stories of her kids and the wisdom she is learning because of them along the way. I may have long forgotten many of those precious preschool moments, but my busy young elementary kids still say and do plenty to keep me entertained.


WE'RE COUNTRY FOLK NOW, BOY!
Until this summer, I had never once had a tick that I know of. But since our move outside of town last year, my husband and I have had three between us. (I have NO IDEA how they have missed the kids.) Appalled at our last discovery, my 5-y-o declared with much frustration, "Another one! Are you kidding me?! This Place Is INVESTED With Ticks!"


GIRLS WILL BE GIRLS
After witnessing a younger member of our church do what so many toddlers do, Faith couldn't wait to get into the car out of earshot and tell me "Gross! J. was picking his boogers and eating them! That is just so......EW-ISH!"

THIS PARENTAL DISCERNMENT THING IS KILLING ME

A couple of times lately when I've called my youngest son into the room for some sort of instruction, I've noticed him leaving my lecture to call his sister in for my run-down as well. "I only needed to speak to Justice," I would tell her, and she would be on her way. Yesterday, I discovered what he was doing. "Faaaaith! Mom needs youuuuu!" he said, though I had suggested nothing of the kind. As Faith emerged to find me he yelled, "Ha ha, you're IT, now!" as he ran by her, brushing her arm with his hand. That little runt has been telling her I need her when he's tired of looking for her in hide-and-go-seek! And I had actually lectured her recently about not coming when I call her. Now I know why she wasn't!

NOTHING SAYS "I LOVE YOU" LIKE IN-HOUSE MARKETING

My older son, who loves all things technical, was looking around an approved website when he called out excitedly across the house, "Ooooh!....Oooooh! Oooooh! Ooooh! They're selling really cool sparkle pink lip gloss! And if you buy one, the second one is half price!" After questioning stares from his younger brother and I, he finally added, "Where's Faith? She's gonna love this stuff." Honestly, though, it warmed my heart for him to be so excited for his sister like that.

A LITTLE GUY'S MIND ON THE SUBJECT OF DEATH

Three years ago, my brother-in-law passed away from life-long diabetes as he ultimately succumbed to liver failure. He was the "cool uncle" to my kids that always did outrageous fun stuff - like the time he rented them a moon bounce for Easter. In his last months, he developed circular scab-like patches on his skin from the toxin buildup in his system. For some reason this past summer, the kids all talked about him an unusual amount and had some pointed questions about those last hard days. "Mom, why did Uncle Scotty have pepperonis all over him when he died?" It's so sweet to realize how innocently they take it all in.

HEY, DUDE, I'M JUST DOING MOM A FAVOR!

My daughter was gone one night as I was trying to go through old clothes to hand down. Not sure if she had outgrown a particular outfit, I asked my son to try it on because their sizes are close enough for me to tell that way. He gave me the eye roll and a little protest, but he is a good kid and does just about all that I ask. "No one will see you," I said. "It's just us here at home." So he held the clothes up to him just as his dad walked in from work. "O.K. Dad! I'm just helping mom out because Faith's not here. I'm just trying to wear my girl clothes like a man!" He cracks me up.

A PENNY SAVED MEANS A LOT LESS WORK!

My daughter wanted a chore to do to earn money for a book order from school. My youngest son, seeing the size of the job decided he could help to earn a little cash of his own. A little squabble ensued about whether he should get to share in the chore or the payment. Knowing his track record on this particular job, I told him "You can help, but remember a halfway done job only gets halfway paid." His response was not quite what I expected. "Cool, Faith! Let's just do the job halfway, then we can share our money and not have to do it all!" Lord, help me.

THAT "OTHER" DISCIPLE

My kids were quite amused by their last Sunday School lesson. Our friends, who happen to be the associate pastor and his wife, have a bright and lively three year old as their middle child. The teacher asked the kids if they were able to list all of the disciple's names, and, she reports, they did a rather impressive job. But she was particularly surprised that such a young boy knew that Levi was also known by another name - "Pull-up" (Philip).