INTEGRITY

Last night is the first time I can ever remember my husband having to fight any tears. I have seen him face the awful, lingering death of his brother and the sudden, dramatic death of his father. I've seen him so concerned that work may not pick up in time to pay our bills. I've heard him worry openly about certain kids in our youth group in their dangerous waywardness. In each case he was sullen and solemn, maybe even a bit agitated, but he has never been one to waste any time throwing his hands up or yelling "Why?!" As far as I'm aware, he has never cried. He has had all kinds of diverse struggles and disappointments. But I have never once seen his tears. He's not a denier, but a man's man. He is rational. And hardworking. And he is tough. He believes in taking life's sour with the sweet and moving on.

So what brought him last night to near watershed?

It was the integrity of a six year boy.

Last night our youngest son found a toy candy vending machine that had been put up several months ago until he could mature enough to use it within boundaries. We believe that since that time, he has shown the kind of responsibility needed to play with it again and so we returned it to him. I was gone yesterday with my daughter, but when I returned Greg told me how he had played with that machine all day long in total bliss!

Later, several of the neighbor men came over to talk tool-swapping, and Justice went out to sell them some candy from his machine. Only Daddy agreed to buy any. (To their credit, these men were probably too broke to buy candy because our kids and the neighbors made a haul off of them selling lemonade over Spring Break!) J then ran inside to refill, but apparently not before overhearing Greg laughing with the guys that it must still be the original candy in the machine because upon opening it, he found crusty white stuff coating the chocolate. He spoke it in no malice. He wasn't disappointed. It was just the laughter of a dad enjoying the innocence of his happy child with other knowing dads.

He had NO IDEA that J had heard him (though he wasn't trying to even hide his conversation since he thought no wrong had been done) or how it was weighing upon J's heart. I came home and reminded the kids they had to go to bed early; we had special events the next morning and needed extra rest. J knew better than to protest after my rule-setting speech on the way home from church, so he got to his bedtime routine. When Greg went to tuck him in a couple hours after the candy exchange, J was stifling his crying. Before Greg could even ask him what was wrong, he unloaded his burden and the tears he could no longer hold back. "Dad, here." He handed him back his $1. "I can't take your money for something that wasn't any good. I'm SO SORRY!" He was bawling. "I wanted to sell you something worth your money and I didn't know that candy was yucky so you shouldn't have to pay for it."

Speechless. Only a wipe of the wet stuff before he could finally tell me of their conversation.

Greg returned to J's bedroom to bring him into the living room for a few minutes. As he sat between us on the sofa, we told him about the word "INTEGRITY" and how VERY PROUD WE ARE OF HIM FOR CHOOSING IT!!! Then Greg told him that integrity was way more valuable than candy, so we wanted him to keep not only the original dollar, but another one as well.

You know, sometimes the perfect teaching moments don't come before bedtime, or without spending some money you weren't planning on, or with any kind of convenience, but they are ALWAYS worth it. How much sweeter is an honest child than good chocolate!

"The father of the righteous shall greatly rejoice: and he that begetteth a wise child shall have joy of him." -Proverbs 23:24

"They that are of a froward heart are abomination to the LORD: but such as are upright in their way are his delight." -Proverbs 11:20

("Miracle Girl" to wrap up soon! I just had to record this.)