A Time To Stand Up

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:
a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

Saturday was rainy and humid as we made our way across town to my niece's 9th birthday party. It was going to be a girly affair, and my daughter and I were both quite excited. Since then, I have pledged to never return to this particular mall. IT WAS A ZOO!!! The parking situation was WAY BEYOND ATROCIOUS and we witnessed, I kid you not, three separate arguments IN the parking lots over parking spaces. And then we got caught up in one of them.

We teach our children in our home that as Christians we are to be as wise as serpents and harmless as doves. (Mathew 10:16) We teach that most of the time, it is preferable to be falsely accused that to prove your point. (I Peter 3:16-17) We teach that we are to return nasty and unkind comments with a warm and forgiving smile, even though we don't ALWAYS do it. (Proverbs 25:21-22) And we also teach that God never intended for Christians to be doormats. (Mathew 5:13) We are to do all these former things so that people will know we are serious when we do have to stand for something that is important. Is a parking space really that important, even when your quest to find it has already made you 15 minutes late? Of course not. But my children's safety most definitely is! Honor and doing the right thing is. And that is what we faced from a roughly 200 lb. bodybuilder with a serious attitude problem.

Oh yes I did.

Let's just refer to this "man" - and by that I mean probably in his early thirties - as "Steroid Boy," because that is as apt a description as any other. Seriously, if you have ever seen the movie 50 First Dates and recall the character that plays Drew Barrymore's brother, the one so ramped up on steroids that he talks with a lisp and walks like his cheeks are glued together, that was this guy! He OBVIOUSLY values rock hard muscles and his ego first and foremost. He looked like a cartoon, because his muscles were so unnaturally defined. Honestly, he didn't look strong as much as he looked ridiculous. But anyway.......

I was trying so unsuccessfully to find a parking spot when I saw one straight ahead of me across the adjacent lane. Unfortunately, I also saw two cars closer by who spotted it also. "Steroid Boy" arrived there first and waited for the current car to back out. As soon as it did, a little black Honda swooped in and took the spot. As of now, I was on "S.B.'s" side. But what happened next had me incensed! As I had approached the area, I had started to turn left around "S.B." to continue on somewhere else to find a spot, in the lane next to him and going the other direction. But as I started to make my turn, he cut his vehicle into that lane diagonally, blocking both his lane and mine, in order to get out and scream at the man in the black car. This left me, with three young children sitting in a busy intersection in a parking lot full of mad and irrational drivers. We were not in safe place. But this hypocrite didn't care. There he was, using his size and benching ability alone to convince this guy who's boss. I understood his anger, but his arrogancy and hypocrisy made me cringe. "Hey" I called out the window to him. "I understand your anger, but by blocking us here in the thoroughfare, you're keeping me from going anywhere just like he's done to you AND you are leaving me where a car could hit us."

He looked confused. He apparently didn't realize anyone else has basic rights on this planet. Or else he was trying to bring one of his seven brain cells to the surface. Whatever. Having successfully bullied the man in the black car to go find another spot, he turned his attention to me, walking to the front of his car where his girlfriend sat completely blank-faced behind the windshield. "Back up!" he literally growled at me, bugging out his eyes and sticking out his chest. I almost burst out laughing, but my anger intruded. He wanted me to reverse back into the lane I was leaving, which was clearly impossible with a line of cars sitting just behind me. No matter. I wouldn't have given in to his demands anyway. I had my children to consider. "Or what?" I said with my stare. "Are you going to beat me up in front of three children?" I postured flatly. So instead I pulled forward, causing him to wait on his spot, and requiring a backing up in order to straighten up enough to continue past him since he had cut his car so far in. And I did it in my own sweet time. I wasn't going to reward his demands with even any implication of compliance.

Now I DO NOT ordinarily opt for or reccomend confrontation. But I don't regret my actions one iota since coming home to more fully think through these events. I want my children to learn that they are OBLIGATED to stand up against bullies who threaten their safety or especially others. Obviously, I am not going to teach them to sass off to a guy with a gun or anything, but we have had issues with bullies in the past. In fact, in the pretty recent past, since some new neighbors moved in. I have told the children and I believe THIS: If you give in to a bully, you have only rewarded their behavior, their demands, and especially their egos. I believe it in the schoolyard, the mall parking lot and yes, even in war and terrorism. And just as I expected, and by God's grace on me, he backed down. We ended up, no kidding, with THE absolute closest parking spot to the front doors of the entire mall. And as we by Providence "happened" to walk into those doors at the exact same time as "Steroid Boy," he gave me his best mad face, but he didn't say a word. I wrestled to force a smile back at him and gave thanks that God offers protection from he who is in the world. (I John 4:4)

What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us? Romans 8:31