Venting

I'll start with the most recent. My index finger is STINGING as I burnt it on popcorn JUST NOW as I began to type! Cr*%#p it hurts! And did I mention that the popcorn IS my dinner tonight?

If this post is going to sound too much like complaining, and it probably is, then you'll want to move on down your blog roll right now. First, let me preface by saying that I DO know that I am blessed SO FAR above anything I could ever deserve, and that I DO know that I could have it so much worse, and I REALLY am keeping everything in proper perspective outside of THAT moment (of which there have been several lately) that you can't keep perspective because you don't a half second to look beyond the small part of the picture that is an absolute emergency at that exact time. REALLY I am.

I will also say that in my experience, God NEVER goes without tempering the bad times with at least some small glimmers of blessing and I could recount several. But I have saved those for my prayer time. I'm using the blog to get all the JUNK out so God and I can have more enjoyable conversation. :D I am venting. Because we all understand that blowing off pressure a little at a time sometimes prevents a big explosion later on down the twisty curvy hair-pinned road.

And speaking of explosions, my husband narrowly missed one yesterday. Came upon a rural intersection on the way home from work where two men were RUNNING from their diesel-filled rig while motioning him to tear out of there as well! It was on fire. That was NOT what I needed to hear at the end of a stress FULL day! (The rig was totaled, but everyone did get away safely.)

We could not afford to travel this year, even locally overnight, but we have been awaiting Spring Break with more angst and yearning than EVER before! We NEEDED this break. Only guess what? The kids have been sick since I picked them up an hour before school even let out on Friday. That's right. Fevers, aching, congestion AND puking all the way around! Fun, fun stuff I must say! Of course my husband's hours have been ALL OVER THE PLACE so I've been mostly going it alone. He has always worked relatively varied hours just by definition of his vocation (construction), but I usually have about a day's notice of what the day will look like for him. Not this week. He's like a doctor on call, only out in the heat and the dirt and for way less pay and with clients who considerably more healthy enough to argue energetically. So I have hardly spoken to him all week. Since the kids are so sick, I have obviously not left my house in almost six days. And did I mention IT IS SPRING BREAK!

And the poor kids; they feel awful! They are SO SAD that they are laying in bed on the very break they have been CLAWING their way through school to get to! We also missed church again because they were sick - and last week we were gone to welcome home my brother-in-law from four months away. (A good thing.) But when we can't be there, we REALLY miss our classes and the encouragement we get!

Also, I'm LONELY! We aren't even eating together as a family since my husband's been gone so much and the kids can't hold anything down. And of course, no one can come to visit because of the germs. Besides, very many of my friends have their own issues they are dealing with. THREE of my friends lost their parents in the last three weeks and another has announced plans to divorce. I am so, so sad for them.

Yesterday and today, I've spent a total of about 15 hours tackling our garage mess (I'm a little less than halfway done) just to get outside while the kids have slept! I now feel like a Sumo wrestler sat on me! And after 15 hours, mere progress becomes a poor substitute for the finished product (although I am thrilled to be this far - I've been needing to do this for 2 years now!) Anyway, both days the neighbor kids have come over while I've been working and they are just not very respectful. I'm trying to be really nice now. Actually the way they speak would warrant corporal punishment for my children. The problem is, I don't even know their parents! THAT kind! Normally, I would TRY to have more patience with them, but I think we all have our limits sometimes and mine was at the point where they invited another friend of theirs THAT I DON'T EVEN KNOW to play in OUR YARD with OUR STUFF when they weren't even invited themselves! Then when I told them NO, the response from the 11 year old was "you are supposed to share things with guests." From an 11 year old! One who had just walked into my garage to get a Popsicle without asking! A Popsicle that was being frozen specifically for my son to maintain hydration! COME ON! Who elected me neighborhood babysitter?!

I was already grouchy because I have permanent scarring from whatever this is that invaded my face originally before it turned into the infamous staph infection of summer '08. The staph is gone, but the original problem persists and has worsened considerably. No one seems to be able to diagnose it. But everyone seems to agree what it is not. Acne. So here's my theory. I'm no doctor, and I don't know the medical practicality of this, but it's my gut feeling due to a number of factors I'm too lazy to recount just now. I wonder if it isn't the debris of a 19 year old car wreck working itself out. This would make a lot more sense if I explained why I came to this conclusion. And at least one trusy medical professional has said this is entirely plausible. But like I said, it would take too much time. What stinks, though, if I am right, is that nothing can be done about it. Of course, nothing is anyway. So I continue to look like the spotted freak show whereever I go. Which right now, of course, is NO WHERE!!!

And then just now, getting ready for bed, I realized that in my zeal to procure a garage we can park in before the 100 degree heat hits, I haven't kept up very well with the laundry. So I must wear the hubby's boxers to bed. With no blinds on 3 of our windows and I don't EVEN want to get started on the WHY behind that. But considering the garage door opener, some bad lighting (as in not working), the DVD player, and the car transmission have all broken lately as well, why am I surprised?

O.K

There.

I'm done.

And I AM DETERMINED tomorrow is going to be a better day, despite the forecast calling for cloudy skies after 5 PERFECT days of sunshine and breezes. SHEESH!

O.K.

No, really this time. I'm officially done.

Starting........NOW!