I Guess We're Veterans Now?

I'm hoping to have a chance to go out and take a few photos later today showing the tornado damage from yesterday afternoon that destroyed two neighborhoods just three miles from my home. It is sad, yes, and frustrating for those who are spending their day trying to pick up the pieces, including the neighbors immediately next door to my daughter's classmate. Their home was completely leveled while our friend's sustained only a gnarled garage door. But I guess I just viewed it as typical drill for our area until I saw homes I distinctly recognize on national news this morning.

Thankfully, no one in our town lost their life. Not so where another twister touched down two hours south of here where another of my friends lives. (She was the "other K." mentioned in my last post.) Crazy evening, for sure. Although, we were blissfully ignorant of just how close our home came from feeling the fury. (We were directly in the path but it apparently lifted soon after all the damage you might be seeing on the network shows.) I was several miles away in what I've long considered one of the very safest locations in our entire town of 80,000. I couldn't watch TV or a computer or listen to the radio because I was responsible, along with three other adults, for keeping about 30 kids calm and obedient while we took cover. Since they were blissfully ignorant as well (of the proximity of the tornado, not that there WAS one), they all but one stayed calm. We even had fun with endless games of "I Spy." And I knew my own children were being well protected nearby. It's funny, but throughout what was obviously sort of a big deal, my family was completely distracted by our own personal traumas that had marked the day. Our dog, the first real pet ever for our family was diagnosed with a serious health issue and some other deeply emotional stuff had taken place earlier. So it was very good that we never heard the direction of the tornado's location announced. It surely would have been too much. We would've worried when it turned out to be fine.

It reminded me of how out-of-the- loop we felt concerning the Oklahoma City bombing in 1995, despite living only 15 miles away and knowing friends of victims and rescue workers. We were too engulfed in the death of my father-in-law a week earlier to recognize the magnitude of the proximity of such a huge event. We probably processed it much more like someone saddened to watch it on TV somewhere in another state. Except this morning, there were roads shut down and all talk is focused on "the tornadoes." Our church was open last night as a safe haven for folks who had lost their home or power to keep their homes heated. We went up to see what we could do to help, but there were only 2 families. They seemed a little shell-shocked, but surprisingly calm and friendly as well. You just never know what a day will bring!

K & K

I just arrived home from dropping the children off at school and I would be overwhelmed, completely, at the amount of work I have to do. Some balls ARE GOING to drop and it would be difficult deciding which ones, except that I feel so completely blessed this morning. All I can think at this very moment is that "it is well."

I'm not sure why, now, these thoughts are so prominent on my mind, although there was some mighty good music on the radio as I drove home. But I'm guessing it's because I am SO EXCITED that at this time tomorrow I will be smiling wildly and thoroughly enjoying your combined company over the perfect glass of raspberry tea. Tuesday and Thursday mornings have become some of the best parts of my week because of the two of you and quite frankly, life in general is so much richer.

It's been almost an entire decade since I've had a friend as close as you two. She was a "K" too! (Not to diminish others who simply don't live close enough for consistent fellowship or who lack the time due to difficult circumstances in their lives. (I miss you M. I pray for your family often.) ) Ones who make me feel safe and loved no matter what my mood at the moment. You two are the real deal. When I'm down, you are not down on me, nor do you allow me to wallow. You choose the more difficult path of taking the time to listen, to not judge, but to pray instead that the Holy Spirit would do any convicting. And you never give up on trying to cheer me up until I am laughing once again.

I love that we are doing this Bible Study together. I love that it has affected each of the three of us in such vastly different ways. So many other people I know would see that as a negative and spend all of their time trying to get me to view it like they do. You both instead celebrate with me that our God is so big and so personal as to use the same material to do very different works in each of us. I love your wisdom. Your strength. And your children.

Too bad they are the wrong ages and genders to ever be potential future mates for my kids. Because whoever weds those seven will hit the marital jackpot! You are patiently raising each of them to be extraordinary future husbands and wives. Seeing their characters gives me hope that there are still people out there who care to foster such fine people for my own children to one day spend their lives with. It's what we seem to pray for them most, huh?

I adore you both. For loving Jesus and for really truly loving me. Just as I am. Warts and all. It is so nice to spend time with women who have it in the right order. You inspire me to be a better person because of your belief in me. I never feel like I must work for your approval. But I'm always inspired to be better because I want to actually become the incredible person that you believe me to be.

Though we see each other often, I never ever run out things to talk about with you. And I pray for all that you entrust to my knowledge. Thank you for that trust. And for your friendship. You are outstanding women and it humbles me to have been chosen to be a part of our trio. No cattiness. No competition. Just a stronger desire to be more like Him because of all that I see reflected in you.

I prayed and prayed for my "Jonathan" - and He granted me two! How lucky am I?

Colder Than A Witches Tit In A Brass Bra!

The first time I ever heard that phrase, I absolutely loved it! I must've rolled on the floor laughing for a good ten minutes. It's clever. And a little NAUGHTY. And now that the temperature on our patio thermometer displays only a single digit, I can actually justify using it! I know, that's too much like a kid in middle school. Giggling at any hint of a bathroom term he's been given permission to say. (POOP! FART! Hee hee hee hee.)

BUT I'M FEELING A LITTLE REBELLIOUS TODAY.

So I'm just going to add this while I'm at it -

$#!#$%*(_))&^^%$#@!!!@@!!!!!!!!!!

That's for the guy on the highway this morning who BUMPED THE BACK OF OUR CAR - ON PURPOSE! - and broke two OTHER laws while he was at it, JUST BECAUSE HE THINKS HE IS THE ONLY ONE ON THIS PLANET THE HIGHWAY WAS BUILT FOR!!!! Ugh! You don't know HOW HARD it was to refrain that until now, but I actually GAVE THOUGHT to the minor children in MY car. You started it, Buddy! I know you are, but what am I?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO DALTON, GO SOONERS! O-U !

I spent my entire childhood in the great state of Texas, frolicking upon the vast miles of wide open plains, singing "the stars at night, are big and bright......," (not) picking the government protected bluebonnets, and dreaming of becoming a Dallas Cowboy cheerleader because that was the natural order of EVERY little girl there. Raised in the Lone Star State, with legends of the Alamo, and the Texas Rangers (the sheriff posse first and then the baseball team) and the sandy beaches of Padre where I more specifically lived all a of part of the internal makeup that made me proudly Texan. And rooting for the University of Texas Longhorns, partly because it was the natural expectation of my birthright and partly because it seemed so exciting in a place where football is bigger than the distance from border to border.
Then in my junior year of high school, I was carted north of the border courtesy of a job promotion for my Dad (who only five years later experienced his first layoff and was sent back south. Coincidence? Or an elaborate plan to rid of me forever? Mwahahahaha.) But by then I had met a boy, a die-hard arch enemy of the Longhorns and a crimson wearing wild man. I don't know how we crossed party lines, but like a Capulet and a Montegue, we were not supposed to be together. We kept a playful rivalry for years, specifically the years when OU was not so hot to trot for the first time in like, forever. In the early nineties. In our early marriage. But then our first born came along, a boy, and it only seemed right to let go and let him root for his Dad's beloved Sooners. And as our brood grew, and Bob Stoops came (he is a class act and expects all his players to be the same) and the boys enjoyed Saturday games together in Norman in the live action, and the reputations of the players of the past gave way to a bunch of super nice ethical guys that my boys could actually look up to, and we became friends with the team doctor and with a Heisman winner's dad, but STILL couldn't get special tickets because they are so hot, I began to embrace the whole thing. I bought a couple of T-shirts. I root for them anytime they are not playing Texas. And even then I feel like I win either way. I am a rare bird that some claim can not exist. But my husband has accepted me. And I have come to understand that taking a man's team is much like taking his last name. It just identifies you to the tribe that is your family.

So tonight we are celebrating my son's 12th year on Earth. In Sooner country. A crimson and cream child, born and bred. And like I was brought up surrounded by the legacy of the Six Flags of ownership nations, warm winters and starry wide-open night skies, he will forever equate himself with stories of schooners and land runs and Indians and oil. He's having a birthday watch party as the University of Oklahoma Sooners football team vies for the title of BCS National Champions, nine years after they last carried the title. They've had a fantastic season! They have lost only one game this entire year, and then by a very small margin.
I betcha' can't guess who beat 'em?

I'll be wearing red tonight, but I'm just sayin'. ;)

His Face

As I sit here and type in the early morning hours of the second day of the New Year, I find it a little depressing that I missed the first day entirely. I have been flat on my back for two days in the worst, most incessant pain I think I have ever experienced. I cringe and I cried to realize I had to get up to go to the bathroom and frankly I was just mad. I wanted to be able to make dinner for my family, to enjoy our rare shared weekday off, to clean up the incredible mess that has accrued in my absence.

But so long as I was up already, I decided to peek in on my son and leave a message on his dry erase board to greet him on his very first morning of being 12 years old. Or if I was to be really lucky, I would catch him still awake after midnight to wish him his very first "Happy Birthday" for this year. After all, I haven't been able to do a single thing to ensure he wakes up to the notion that he is being celebrated. But in the trail of light emanating from the hallway I did get to see that handsome unconscious face, and once again the world has been set right. He was born 12 years ago today, and my life has been improved ever since. For a few moments as I looked at my firstborn at rest and recognized remnants of the same baby features from say, 11 years ago, I have forgotten the pain that has had me wincing in anguish and instead I was able to concentrate on all the good my life - three really truly incredibly wonderful kids, a husband who works hard every day to give us the best of life's comforts, few but faithful friends, a clean kitchen because my children sensed my frustration, 15 years today of knowing and loving my Savior, and usually, good general health. I'm happy.

Happy Birthday, D.! I love you.

For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace.

Isaiah 9:5-7

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Feeling A Little Off Kilter

Update Evening:

Mr. and Mrs. C. and their middle child - age 11 (not the youngest as previously thought) were released this afternoon from the SAME hospital. (The husband was taken to the same as his wife and middle daughter.) Mrs. C. was later readmitted to the ER at the different hospital where her other two children are, but I don't know what symptoms prompted the readmittance. The older child (age 12) has broken ribs and internal bruising and bleeding that will require him to be watched until he improves. The younger child (age 10) has broken both her legs in several places and will require long term rehab whenever she is released. They are still listed in serious but stable (now NON life-threatening) condition. The gentleman who died was 79 and may or may not have been drinking. It may have been a factor of his age only. They are still investigating. (As a side note, I used to work as a television news producer and it is amazing how MOST stories involve so much assumption and false information that could easily be avoided if stations weren't all racing to "beat" each other with the scoop.) Of course, I too printed what I didn't confirm personally, but for measures of prayer I said just what was told to me. I am SO VERY THANKFUL that we did not lose our friends today. They still have such a long road ahead and will obviously have a very different Christmas than they had planned.

Update Early Afternoon:

Thank you, God, for news coming quickly! This is torture. Mr. C. has been fully released to leave the hospital after hand surgery. He will be able to follow the transfer of his wife and their youngest child for observation at the university hospital where their other two are in serious, but stable condition. However, it was reported that they were "stable for now." Meaning, from what I was told, that though their vitals are currently in an acceptable range (I don't know if they are breathing or on machines), the surgeons have not yet ascertained things like potential brain damage. Their conditions could change at any moment due to conditions that have not yet been found, but they are stable for RIGHT NOW. Praise God they will at least all be in one hospital soon. I was so worried about the stress of all the separation, with so many different injuries, so close to Christmas with plans obviously canceled. And I know this family will also be so heavy-hearted for the man that perished in the accident and whatever family he may have left behind. That is just how they are.

I feel like I have done nothing but ask prayer requests the last several posts I've put on here, but I guess I figure if you feel led to pray, that will be one more person in petition for whatever problem needs a sound group of believers lifting up requests before the throne. And if you don't feel led, that's okay. We can't possibly all pray for everyone all of the time. There are far too many needs in this world and we can only be a small part of the situations we are individually called to. Especially when you don't know someone, I understand how the urgency can be missing. However, for those that do comment they are praying, I appreciate you so much more than I have the eloquence to explain.

That said, my son's teacher, her husband and their three kids were all hit head on by a drunk driver early this morning en route to Florida for Christmas. I can not help the tears from flowing. She is such a very special lady and I spent significant time with her only Friday discussing another mutual friend of ours whose ten-year-old girl who is fighting a life-threatening infection in the hospital. Two of the children were medi-flighted to our local university hospital, thankfully one of the best in the nation. Mrs. C. and another child were taken to the hospital closest to the crash site, about an hour and a half from home. Her husband was taken to yet another hospital in our home town, a suburb of the metro area. With a very bad hand injury, he is the only one who did not sustain internal trauma. The driver of the other vehicle died at the scene. Unfortunately, that is all the information I have as of yet.

For those who have faithfully prayed for Ashley that she might spend her very first Christmas ever outside of the hospital, it looks as though it is finally going to happen! She has been released to travel with her family to Disney World for the holiday, ironically the same place my son's teacher and her family were heading. It truly is a miracle for her and I couldn't be more excited for them!

Thank you so much for your friendship, you bloggers who ask about the things I have written and show such genuine concern. You know who you are. And you make this world a better place.

Fire and Prayers and Humble Amazement

Tonight my daughter and I returned home from a day of Christmas shopping to find a large portion of our neighbor's yard engulfed in flames right up against our fence. This neighbor, a very good friend of ours, is out of town. I knew all of the guys were probably not outside, where they usually spend the majority of their time, since the Heisman Trophy winner was being announced, literally at that moment. (Our guy won.) While I slammed my car in park outside the garage and ran in like lightning for my husband, my little nine-year-old daughter, generally as dainty as any good damsel in distress, had the wherewithal to fetch the fire extinguisher from the kitchen pantry. She ran it to the gate where she stood wisely, waiting for an adult to come and be the one to open it. That fire extinguisher (and her quick thinking, ABSOLUTELY) saved our neighbor's barn, which was the first (and mercifully the only) major structure to catch fire. (Thank you Dad for the extinguisher! It was a thoughtful and most useful "practical gift." It would have ALL been gone without it!) By that time my husband had called our other neighbor to drag out the garden hoses and they put the rest of it down together.

All I can say now is.......

WHEW!

It really does remind me just what grace really is. That God would bring together so many different aspects of awareness from each individual involved in a situation to bless it in the end is ......well, just humbling. From my Dad noticing our absence of an extinguisher three or four years ago to me driving by precisely when the fire had just started to spread. My boys pitched in with dog bowls full of water. I truly do believe with all my heart that it all came together that way just for this very night. There's a little bit of black grass and siding and a couple of melted bar stools (and lessons much better learned), but everything else was spared this day just before Christmas.

I'm not nearly eloquent enough to convey my gratitude.

Especially because I know things DON'T ALWAYS work out in the end. Sometimes homes do burn down during the holidays, divorces proceed because of a cheating spouse (yet another neighbor, for whom my heart is broken), and children spend yet another Christmas in the hospital miles and miles away from home and family.

IF YOU FEEL SO LED, WOULD YOU PLEASE PRAY FOR MY NIECE ASHLEY - AND FOR HER FAMILY.

Ashley has spent every one of her three Christmases since her birth in the hospital, with her mom and without her dad and sister and brother. And instead of getting easier, it's actually just the opposite. While other carefree kids crave the toys and goodies from Santa that most kids naturally do, she only wants home and the familiarity of people who are there to love her and enjoy her, rather than poke and prod and take her vitals every hour and otherwise help her in ways that she only has the understanding to interpret as painful. And though her family still finds so very much to be grateful for through it all, it only reminds me all the more how most of us have our health.

Most of us have some sort of family, however it's put together. Most of us have beds to sleep in and enough food to keep from starving and the ability to read a Bible if we will. And freedom still, for now. We really do have it very good.

So very, very, VERY good.

May you each have a blessed and peaceful and wonderful Christmas full of the love of an indescribably graceful Savior.

A Lesson Dropped In My Lap and Blessed From Above

Tonight the children and I ended an absolutely EXHAUSTING day early with our nightly venture through the ABC's of Advent Book we've been reading. I began this evening by apologizing for a nasty argument their father and I had engaged in earlier and hoping, though not very expectantly, that SOMETHING good could be salvaged of our day. Mostly, though, I was just going through the motions, more disappointed than spiritual for the first time since starting this book a week ago.

But as I repented for my behavior earlier in the day, I did pray silently, sleepily, that God would given them something of value for this day to hold onto.

The topic for tonight's Advent lesson was "Earth." It explained so beautifully how God left the perfection and splendor of the Glory of Heaven to come to a flesh-filled world to redeem us. As I spoke of the great Love required to make such a sacrifice, I asked the children if they thought they could do something so selfless for another.

"Yes." They all replied. "If it helped another person get saved."

I appreciated the sweet intentions in their answers, but I wanted them to REALLY GET what a big deal God's manhood was.

"Do you all remember when that missionary came one time and told us about the Mexican trash dump village where hundreds of little children live and spend their days hunting for food within the piles of garbage brought there and the stink?"

They all nodded, obviously interested in how this would all connect.

"Do you remember how we've talked about how the Bible says that NO MATTER WHAT wonderful awesome things you can imagine about how great Heaven is going to be, it's REALLY going to be a hundred million times better than EVEN THAT?!"

"Yes."

"Well, think of our home, then, as Heaven. And the trash dump village as Earth. Because that's about how different Heaven is going to be from our Earth. That's how big of a difference there is. SO, do you think that you would be willing to go live in that trash dump so that those kids could live here, in our home?"

"No." My oldest son wished he could honestly say otherwise.

"Yes, I would!" my daughter enthusiastically spoke up. "Me too!" said my youngest. "It would be cool if they could have a great life because of something that I could do for them."

I admired their compassion. But I took it a step further.

"Would you do it for your worst enemy? The one who always makes fun of you and leaves you out on the playground and talks about you behind your back? Because the Bible says that Christ did all this for us WHILE WE WERE YET SINNERS. Would you let somebody mean like that have your bedroom, while you eat days old scraps and live with the rats?"

"No!" my son laughed. "THAT would just be too hard." But my sweet angel girl, with all the good intentions one heart can hold insisted, "I would. I really would. But only if it made them be able to go to Heaven, like the reason Jesus did it."

"Yeah, me too." My son changed his mind.

"O.K." I said. "I want you both to get dressed very warmly and go outside onto the back patio and see if you can sleep there tonight, just so you can TRULY understand and actually FEEL what Jesus went through for us to be able to go to Heaven."

They were giddy. This meant they would be up past bedtime. And besides, it was just too fun to try.

"Can we take out our tents and stuffed animals?" my son asked.

"Nope. The kids in the trash dumps don't have that stuff unless they find it. You are welcome to use anything you can find in the back yard though. Whatever you have to do to stay warm or feel comfortable."

"Can we take a blanket?" asked my daughter.

"You can use the dogs'. It's a used one just like they find in the trash dumps."

Their excitement tapered off just a bit, but still they bounded out enthusiastically.

My oldest son stayed inside with me while we began to plan his upcoming Bowl Game Birthday Bash. From inside, we could hear laughter and games for about the first ten minutes. We heard them play with our dogs as they agreed that trash dumps would have stray animals lurking around. But very quickly thereafter, it got seriously quiet. So we giggled and waited. About 6 minutes later, the door finally opened, but then it shut just as suddenly.

Another four minutes passed when two exhausted and nearly frozen little future missionaries scurried back inside. "It's FREEZING out there!" my daughter declared as though we should be utterly shocked. "We're just going to warm up for a second, then we'll go back out."

"But Faith," I said. "Jesus didn't just return to Heaven for a break whenever things got really tough. And he didn't just stay on the Earth for a night. He did it for 33 years! You have the kindest heart of just about anyone I know, but would you REALLY be willing to trade lives with those children, to live away from Daddy and I and your friends and your grandparents in that trash dump? Or would you agree that what Jesus did was FAR TOO REMARKABLE for us to ever come close to loving as good as He does?"

"Well, I DO want those kids to get saved and get to hear about Jesus like us, Momma. But Jesus DID do a miracle that we could never do. When I think about that, I can't see how ANYBODY could love somebody that much."

"But He did, Sweetie." I told her. "He loves you."

"Yeah. That should warm me up pretty quick!"

And so does the way God can turn a day around. He sure did mine.

A Lil' Of This; A Dash O' That

I miss blogging.

There has been so much happen in our family the past few months that has changed and grown us both as individuals and as a family. I miss recording all of the ups and downs that are making us who we are at this very moment. Of course, giving up this habit temporarily has also allowed me to continue to be PRESENT for my family while I'm having to devote so much more time to other areas that I wasn't before. And it's paying off. I am so much happier and lighter this holiday season than I was last year. God has done great things and even the burdens I have been able to view mostly as worthy lessons.

Despite a failing economy, hard decisions, and a lot of tiring work - life is good. I hope to be able to write again about it all soon. And by soon, I mean maybe Spring. Things like my youngest son and I losing a tooth on the same day. (Hee hee - mine was a baby tooth that has no permanent underneath; his was from riding off the end of a drainage tunnel he didn't see - that's his 3rd tooth lost in 3 separate accidents. The neighbors were almost appalled at my sense of calm, but I'm just used to it. :) He is all boy for sure!)

We also took our first week-long vacation EVER as a family! We have NEVER had that many days off before. We drove to the top of Pike's Peek, my favorite spot on planet Earth!! (However, I did not DRIVE it last time! I just wish I could show you a picture of how DEATHLY TERRIFYING that is, but my hands were absolutely melded to the steering wheel and could not be pried off. Let's just say that it made coming back down the mountain with hot brakes and no low gear to speak of seem like a piece of cake!) And I'm not even afraid of heights. My fear is more about thin, unpaved roads with no guardrails and no peripheral vision because of the steepness of the incline. But anyway.......

Let's see. There was the lesson of letting go as my children mourned each of the 9 puppies we gave away. Many tears. Sweet hearts. And some joy at getting to be used to bless others and look upon their grateful faces. We kept the "second runt." (The one who grew the slowest, but not the one who was left alone at first because she was attached to the afterbirth. He is exceptionally smart!) Then we traded him for the big dumb lovable loaf that was promised to our next door neighbor because it just seemed to each of us that we had each other's dog. You know how you just know? So, officially our new black lab puppy (who weighs in at nearly 20 pounds already!) is heretofore known as "Sampson," because he's super strong and blind (not medically, he just misses a lot) and favored. We love him so much.

Also we've been to visit Focus On The Family and the Air Force Academy (my oldest was in fully-saturated Heaven!), praising God because we love our school SO MUCH, getting EXCITED about Christmas hoopla for the first time in 4 years!, cleaning out files we've waited to organize for 5 years! (YAAAAAY!!! I'm getting my life back!!), hosted my son's UTTERLY CRAZY AND ABSOLUTELY CHAOTIC "very best Birthday Party EVER!", visiting a WONDERFUL new church, doing consulting work and researching steps to begin a photography business, re-establishing several really old lost friendships, and I've been getting much closer to two women I previously only knew casually after I prayed and prayed and pleaded and begged God for a "Jonathan friend." There have been lower moments too, but today I'm feeling too hopeful to care to recount those.

So, I'll just get these out there because I thought they were so good and I don't want to forget:

Not sure where I read this but it certainly stuck -

"If the mountain was completely smooth, you couldn't climb it."

Good, huh?

And lastly, I heard today on the radio about a company CEO, who in the midst of the this economic mess, while other CEO's are having to relearn what's realistic in a recession (i.e. - driving a car as opposed to flying a private jet), did something entirely different. He chose to spend a big hunk of his company's regular advertising budget to air a national television ad that reminds us all to Love God and Love One Another. That's it. It doesn't even mention his products. We have long had a phrase in our home "People Over Projects" meaning to remember to stop your to-do list when someone else is hurting, even emotionally. It matters more. And after Black Friday's events at the New York Walmart, I guess this guy was really hurt by those events and decided to spend his ad budget to declare "People Over Product" as well. So, if you have to replace that old car battery because you can't afford to upgrade in this down turned economy, think about buying an INTERSTATE BATTERY from this CEO with a big ole' heart.

Have a Very Merry Wonderful Christmas and a warm Winter as well!